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Truths of Living with Social Anxiety Disorder
Living with social anxiety disorder can feel like living a life covered up by chains.
I wish I could wake up one day and breathe easy.
Breathe the fresh air in without my chest feeling tight. Breathe in the calm.
But it seems nearly impossible, because I have social anxiety.
And my job literally relies on me talking to thousands of strangers online every day.
And although blogging has helped parts of my social anxiety, I still find it difficult to live a “normal” life.
It gets annoying. It gets difficult. I’m always on edge, and I often feel bad about myself.
Here are 8 difficult truths of living with social anxiety disorder.
8 Symptoms of Living with Social Anxiety Disorder
Listen to my struggle with social anxiety on my podcast!
1. I KNOW I’M IRRATIONAL
Most of the time, I know I’m being irrational.
But a big part of me can’t grasp the concept.
Like nearly every human ever, I can’t just snap out of it when someone tells me to calm down.
My heart is beating so hard against my chest, and my vision is hazy. And I don’t feel okay.
An excellent way to help someone like me is to help us let go of our anxious thoughts.
Sometimes it helps when someone asks me a math question, tells a favorite memory, or simply asks what they can do to help.
How to help someone with social anxiety:
2. I’M ALWAYS ON HIGH ALERT
My senses are almost always on overdrive. I notice every detail at an intense rate.
A tap of a pen may feel like a bomb going off directly in my eardrums.
Being in a crowded place may feel like every person there is trying to suffocate me all at once.
If you’re having a conversation with me, I’ll most likely notice that your stomach is breathing in and out and that your hands are shaking just a little bit.
Then I’ll become extra conscious of my movements.
I’ll also take note that I most likely 99% have to pee, but I’m too scared to ask where the bathroom is.
3. I’M TERRIBLY SELF-CONSCIOUS
I became pretty comfortable in my own skin by the time I entered college.
I accepted my cellulite, and I accepted the acne scars on my nose, jaw, and cheeks.
But as soon as I’m put in a situation I’m uncomfortable with, all of that kind of just vanishes.
Do I have something in my teeth? Can they see that I’m excessively sweating under my armpits? Should I stop laughing because I’m being annoying?
Every detail of mine is magnetized by a thousand.
Listen to these social anxiety affirmations ↓
4. I CAN SHUT DOWN UNANNOUNCED
Whenever I do activities out of my comfort zone, I easily become proud of myself.
I’m out and about right now! I’m dealing with a group of people I barely know! I’m out at night!
Then all of a sudden, my legs start to get numb, and I start to get really hot.
My face flushes, and it sends me into a spiral of self-hatred.
Something in my brain switched at the snap of a finger.
I was doing so well. I don’t know what happened.
I start to feel suffocated by my own body.
My eyes can’t focus on what’s in front of me. I need to find a way out.
Social Anxiety eBook and Workbook
Social Anxiety to Social Success is a fantastic eBook, if you’re ready to gain control over your social anxiety.
I love that it’s super easy to follow along to, and there’s even a workbook so you can track your progress!
BUY SOCIAL ANXIETY EBOOK
5. I NEED A SAFE HAVEN
Whether it be my bedroom, your bedroom, or any other quiet room, I need some place where I can escape by myself.
Any place where my nerves can calm themselves.
If I don’t have an escape route, I’ll feel more and more anxious to the point of barely functioning.
If you find me going to use the restroom in public, it’s either a.) I really need to pee, or b.) this is the only place where I can get a breather.
Most likely both.
6. ANY CHANGE IS A BIG CHANGE
Any change is a horrible threat to my safety.
If things change and don’t go the way I planned in my head, I don’t know how to react.
Simple things like going to the gas station gives me an anxiety build up.
What if the pump doesn’t accept my credit card? What if a stranger approaches me and asks for money?
(That did happen once, right after I thought about it happening 🙃).
Going to a social gathering by myself is out of the question. Can you please come with me?
7. I GET TIRED EASILY
Because I’m on constant overdrive, social anxiety really takes a lot out of me.
I spend pretty much all day out of my comfort zone.
I constantly stress about how I’ll react if I’m put in a situation beyond my control.
When I worked in retail, I worried every day if I was going to get yelled at by a customer or my manager.
Nowadays, I can barely even leave my house. I don’t even know the last time I went out by myself.
My mind is never at ease.
Most days, I struggle getting to sleep because of social anxiety.
Have trouble sleeping?
8. I NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE
No, I don’t feel okay. And no, I don’t want you to keep asking me if I’m “okay.”
What I want, and more of what I need, is constant reassurance that I’m doing a good job.
Say you’re proud of me. Say you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me.
And if I really can’t be in a situation any longer, recognize that it’s incredibly hard for me and for my safety we need to leave.
I know it can be frustrating, but please be understanding and supportive.
Living with Social Anxiety
According to WebMD, is one of the most common mental disorders.
Do you live with social anxiety disorder? Do you relate to any of my realities and symptoms of anxiety?
How do you cope?
Tell me in the comments below!
Related posts on social anxiety:
- 50 Positive Affirmations for Overcoming Social Anxiety
- 28 Incredibly Relatable Songs About Social Anxiety
- 17 Soothing Meditations for Overcoming Social Anxiety
- 4 Loving Ways to Help Your Friend with Social Anxiety
- 4 Life-Changing Ways Blogging Has Improved My Social Anxiety
More social anxiety recommendations:
Social Anxiety to Social Success is a fantastic eBook, if you’re ready to gain control over your social anxiety.
I love that it’s super easy to follow along to, and there’s even a workbook so you can track your progress!
BUY SOCIAL ANXIETY EBOOK
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I can relate to the constant high alertness. I’m always looking for signs someone doesn’t like me. I have worked many customer service jobs and right now work at a call center. I can do it now, but when I was younger that would have been impossible. Right now my biggest problem is connecting with people and forming friendships.
I can relate to so many of these! But especially the tiredness – you said “Because I’m on constant overdrive, social anxiety really takes a lot out of me. I spend pretty much all day out of my comfort zone.” Yes! That’s how I feel at work. I’ve just gone back after being furloughed for almost three months, and the change in my energy levels is extreme. I was keeping physically active during lockdown, so it’s not just that I’m on my feet more. It’s the constant mental strain of managing my social anxiety during the workday.
Thank you for sharing this – it’s so important to know we’re not alone with this! x
Yes! Mental exhaustion is so real when struggling with mental illness! Thanks for reading 🙂
It’s really good to read this and understand how differently social anxiety can be experienced by different people. My anxiety is mostly limited to situations where I feel like I’m being judged or evaluated or put on the spot. Crowds are okay because it feels like I can blend in and nobody is paying attention.
Yes! So true that everyone struggles with their mental illnesses in their own unique, valid way!
This sounds so much like me. It’s like you plucked out exactly how it is out of my head and popped it on your blog. I’ve shared this with someone close to me to help them understand a little better. Thank you.
I’m both happy and sorry you can relate. Sending love
I have like 4 of 8 of these, I use to have social issues before I worked in kroger because I wouldn’t talk as much or be social. I have panic attacks whenever I enter an elevator with to many people. I keep hearing ringing in crowds. My hands usually start shaking whenever I’m with a lot of people. I sometimes have a problem saying no to people. (My boss being one and my mother. I know I have a right to say no but I can’t.)
I can no longer trust my father because one he abused me as a kid although some people call it “parenting.” He also disowned me. He never said it directly but you can tell by his eyes and the way he talked he didn’t accept it. My mother doesn’t know and my siblings were brainwashed to see it as parenting. I used to have trouble opening up to people. I’m now almost 24 and I need to smoke to calm my nerves down drinking is just as bad but smoking doesn’t effect my driving.
I’m so sorry to hear all of this, Jackie. Sending love your way