Comments on: My Self-Harm Addiction and How I’m Still Fighting to Recover https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover Awaken Your Inner Child. Fiercely. Thu, 30 Nov 2023 19:49:35 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 By: Meagan https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover/#comment-262 Thu, 10 Nov 2016 04:37:10 +0000 http://www.okaynowbreathe.com/?p=442#comment-262 In reply to Stacie Fourroux.

Thank you so incredibly much! This truly means so much to me! Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage and shows a tremendous amount of strength. I wish you only the best 🙂

]]> By: Stacie Fourroux https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover/#comment-259 Wed, 09 Nov 2016 23:13:26 +0000 http://www.okaynowbreathe.com/?p=442#comment-259 Meagan, I commend you for being so open and honest, sharing every bit of your story along the way. When your in doubt of yourself which not one person is not guilty of…remind yourself that by starting this blog I’m certain you have helped alot of people not feel so alone. So many people put on a smile everyday yet hide a lakes worth of tears no one knows anything about…so just that is an accomplishment in and above itself. I’m 41 yrs of age and probably old enough to be your mother. I want you to know that you are a beautiful, articulate, kind, empathetic, resilient young woman. Just having the ability to be willing to put yourself out there in the open is STRONG in itself. I pray that being able to talk about your struggles open and honestly has had a tremendous effect and is able to help you in some way. I read a quote once and it made perfect sense to me which is regarding holding our tongue while angry can save a lifetime of regret, or something of that nature which for me as an extremely emotional person has been hard for me to do, but I was able to find that if I take the time to email myself all the things I want to say while I’m angry, sad, depressed, anxious, or feeling alone has helped me #1 with regret….I don’t end up saying some I may regret layer that was said on my emotion at the time whether pissed off, sad, disappointed, confused, hurt, or other….
It also #2 has provided me a journal of my feelings, and lastly #3 I’m able to see whether patterns are emerging such as which emotion I feel the most, or see who upsets me most, or if outside factors playback role and whether my hormones such as PMS is to blame. This helps me rationalize my thoughts more for instance, if it seems I’M PMS, and I tend to over rationalize things the week prior it helps me by being more aware that that week I’m a little more sensitive to criticsm it has also helped my husband TREMENOUSLY….He knows not to talk to me about what I’m wearing unless it’s positive but he knows to stay away with the questions like “where did u get that shirt!?” Can easily be interrupted to me as immidiate defense snapping back with “why is it ugly, you dont like it?” Etc… when in reality I’m just a slight bit cranky that week because of hormones. ..lol
There are so many things that we don’t realize control our emotions, for instance last December I was watching the 5pm news broadcast as I usually did each night….but what I had been noticing for a few weeks prior is the influx of bad news. …I even said why never any good news…why always reports of murder, robbery, bad people, never anything positive. So one particular night I saw them report of a family, single mom 4 or 5 children ages 2-11yrs old or something. …but what struck me was the report the mom left the kids home alone, at night to get her bf from work, apparently they had stopped of at a drug store to pick up prescription pills, and maybe even a report they stopped for a drink..anyhow, the youngest children were playing in the kitchen when the baby (1 1/2 or 2 yrs) climbed into the oven, when the 2nd oldest closed the child by lifting the door and the 3rd oldest climbed up the counter over to the oven and turn it on messing with the dials ….I don’t think I need to continue with the rest of the story to know exactly what occured….but what I noticed about this story was the ages and the fact that these children lost a family member they will barely recall….but they will struggle knowing what they had done the rest if their lives and how unfair it was for them….I even began to sob for their souls…I finished dinner and my husband took notice to my demeanor and all I wanted to do was goto bed to start my day over….but all I could think about was that broadcast. That’s when I realized the next day that the simple innocent act of watching a news broadcast that media and reports of what they consider “news” had a major impact on hoe the remainder of my day went. I vowed never to watch a morning or evening news program again….I literally listen nm to music from son up to son down and it has DRAMATICALLY lessened the control of outside influences on my life for the better. It’s been almost a year and I will admit I did watch the broadcast last night but only for an idea where the election would go…lol….
I am with the ONLY TRUE LOVE of my life for 20 yrs now, I have been with him for now half my life, we are best friends and I couldn’t have found a more perfect partner. My mom and dad have passed on, I have a sister but her years of torture from her mal.narcasstic personality disorder and Mr being her target has left my soul battered and bruised. I found my self harm was in relation to her when my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer last year and I immediately started plucking every eyebrow out and digging out the roots, I have gone so far as to have giant scabs that I would attempt to cover with pencil….my husband used to tell me I was making them hamburger meat…sorry for the description but it would infuriate me more so so I’d go hide in my room or bathroom and he’d ask if I was doing them and I would lie….I used to do it for hours upon hours…..I stopped one day as i grew tired of having to draw them on if someone showed upnunannounced or leave them waiting ….and the fact to see if they would grow back….I found if my husband’s took away all the tweezers in the home it was the best thing I could do to prevent self harm….I realized in march when I relapsed that it was in response to the stress of having contact with my sister again(cut her off went no contact 8 yrs prior in resps to her toxic behavior and jealousy towards me.I mutilated my face in response to her contact critique and criticsm of my life and my doings….once I realized it I put them away this time myself and although the urge never fully goes away it has lessened. I refuse to willingly give power to anything BUT ME!!! What I’ve found is to remind myself that I CONTROL MY LIFE, THE DIRECTION AND NO ONE OR NOTHING ELSE CAN TAKE THE FROM ME….That and people noticed no matter how I tried to cover it up….I wish you well, it’s not an easy ROAD BUT WE CAN THE PATH AS MUCH AS WE ARE WILLING….THE REST IS UPTO DESTINY!!!
GOOD LUCK TO U GORGEOUS! !!
XO, STACIE

]]> By: Meagan https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover/#comment-66 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 23:59:47 +0000 http://www.okaynowbreathe.com/?p=442#comment-66 In reply to CDT.

Congratulations on all your recovery wins so far! Just remember, relapsing is NOT failing. It’s just all part of the process. I’ve done therapy before, and it can truly help in finding new ways to help yourself and those around you. I think it’s great that your son is you encouragement. Keep fighting! 🙂

]]> By: CDT https://www.okaynowbreathe.com/my-self-harm-addiction-and-how-im-still-fighting-to-recover/#comment-65 Wed, 06 Apr 2016 21:55:32 +0000 http://www.okaynowbreathe.com/?p=442#comment-65 Addictions are hard to overcome. 🙁 I went about 6 years. Then relapse a few weeks ago. The struggle is real. Have you tried therapy? I have only gone twice now…but I think it might help. I don’t want to be like this for my son…that’s my encouragement.

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