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UPDATE: I’ve been away from the company for a couple years now, and yes, I am still with the same man.
Yes, I fell in love with a coworker. Yikes.
And now I’m his supervisor. Double yikes.
But it’s not like I applied to my job thinking, “Time to rope me in some nice, freshman meat.”
No. What happened was not planned, but I knew my feelings for him were real, and it was important for me to trust my gut.
I’ve been seeing my man for pretty much the entire time I’ve worked for the company. He helped me out when I was just starting out, and he watched me work my butt off until I was offered a supervisor position. And through it all, I’ve worked up a pretty good concoction on how to successively date a coworker.
If you’re having difficulty in your relationship, it might be helpful to talk to an online couples counselor! Using Talkspace makes couple’s therapy super flexible and convenient, as you only need your phone or web browser.
6 Tips for When You Find Yourself Dating Your Coworker
1. ARE YOU SURE?
There is a fine line between liking the way your coworker looks and liking who they are as a person. Most of the time, people aren’t entirely themselves when they are at work.
So it’s very important that, first and foremost, you take it slow. Get to know them as a person, not just a coworker. Then you can start to weigh the pros and cons.
Listen to your heart and trust your gut. If the negatives outweigh the pros, it might be time to start thinking of other options.
2. KNOW THE COMPANY’S POLICY
The last thing you want to do is put your job in jeopardy, so it’s best to figure out your company’s policy before you make any move to becoming the new it couple.
Are you even allowed to date? Will someone have to switch positions? If there are restrictions, it must be known. You don’t want to lose your job over someone you care about.
3. MAKE A DECISION
If you decide to take the next step, you should make concrete decisions as a couple. Are you going to you tell your coworkers that you’re seeing each other? If you do, how long are you going to wait until you do? If not, how are you going to keep your relationship a secret?
Whether you want it or not, people are most likely going to find out about your relationship. I was seeing my boyfriend about three months until everyone and their grandma knew we were dating. To this day, I constantly get, “Are you guys still seeing each other?”
Even though our coworkers are very supportive of our relationship, it puts added pressure and scrutiny on our relationship.
4. AVOID THE SMOOCHES
Dating someone from work is different than dating someone at work. Even though it sounds all sexy and mysterious, you have to keep it professional. Life is not The Office, and you’re not Jim and Pam. Shucks. Try to keep the googly eyes to a minimum. You don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable with your relationship.
Most days my man starts work the exact time I’m getting off work. I want to get the heck out of work, but I don’t want to leave him. I haven’t seen him all day, and all I want to do is tackle-hug him. But since we’re at work, we say our goodbyes with a nice, firm handshake. This only makes it more exciting when we finally get to see each other off work.
5. NOW WHY YOU YELLIN’?
Once again, try to keep as professional as possible here. Don’t bring relationship issues to work. Put them aside. The tension between you and your partner will only gravitate to your coworkers. Attitudes are contagious.
In all honesty, I found that work actually makes my relationship stronger. When we are having one of those days where we want to rip each other’s throat out, work brings us closer together. Because we’re forced to work together, we have no choice but for the fight to subside. We have to focus on teamwork, not on our insignificant problems. The tension kinds of just melts away.
Because me and my boyfriend work so well as a team, we already know how each other works. This is an added benefit in the workplace. I’ll just give him a look, and he’ll know exactly what’s on my mind. One look and he knows “Hey you. Put that there. Now. Pleaseeeee.”
6. HAVE AN ESCAPE PLAN
Before you date a coworker, make a mental note. I call it a dating prenup. Dating a coworker is kind of like dating a classmate back from high school.
How’d you deal with breaking up but being forced to see each other all the time? If things end badly, what actions would you take? Would you leave your job? Things like this are very important to consider before you take the plunge into the dating a coworker pool.
To wrap up…
I wouldn’t recommend dating a coworker, because it feels like all eyes are constantly on your relationship. But, you know what? I also wouldn’t put you in the corner if you did, because your relationship can blossom into the best relationship of your life.
You can’t help who you like, and you definitely can’t help who you fall in love with.
If you feel it in your gut, why not take a chance?
Have you ever dated a coworker? Would you ever date someone you work with?
- How to Overcome a Rough Patch by Strengthening Your Relationship
- 12 Reasons Why You Should Date a Vegan
- 7 Ways to Show Your Partner You Care Every Single Day
Have You Tried Couple’s Therapy?
If you’re having complications in your relationship, it might be helpful to talk to a couple’s counselor.
Did you know that there is affordable online couples therapy?
Talkspace is a super flexible option for couples counseling, as you only need your phone or web browser.
Benefits of Talkspace:
- Won’t have to physically visit therapist’s office
- Won’t have to rearrange your lives or hire a babysitter
- You and partner will share same therapist
- You’ll share a private online room
- Communicate with your therapist whenever
What I love about Talkspace is that you can get incredible couple’s therapy from the comfort of your own home.