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Dealing with controlling parents can be challenging, especially when you’re grown and an adult.
But it’s more than okay to put yourself first and make choices that are best for you — even if they might not align with your mom and dad’s expectations.
Here are the best strategies and approaches you should consider in navigating this situation effectively.
How to Deal with Controlling Parents in Adulthood
✨ Speaking of having controlling parents, have you downloaded your free inner child healing workbook yet? 👇
1. UNDERSTAND THE ROOT OF THEIR BEHAVIOR
Having controlling parents is a huge stress and burden, and trying to change them is not your responsibility.
It’s theirs.
But getting to the root of why your parents are controlling might take some weight off your shoulders.
Common reasons for controlling parents:
➡️ How they were raised: Your mom and dad might’ve grown up with their parents controlling them, and they might believe that’s the correct way to parent.
➡️ Anxiety controls them: Your parent’s need to control might come from a place of wanting you to be safe. But it’s not fair that their fears about your wellbeing control your life into adulthood. They could certainly benefit from anxiety treatments, such as therapy and medication.
➡️ Desire to maintain authority: Unfortunately, your parents might think they deserve respect simply because they are older.
No matter the cause, it’s vital to remember that it is your birthright to make your own decisions and live life on your terms.
Are your parents controlling?
👉 13 Signs of Controlling Parents in Adulthood (That Are Ruining Your Life)
2. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS
It’s essential to communicate your feelings and needs to your overbearing parents clearly and assertively by using “I” statements to express yourself.
For example, try saying, “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t have the freedom to make my own decisions” instead of blaming them directly.
This approach can help open a dialogue with your mom and dad without escalating tensions.
Plus, “I” statements can help your parents understand where you’re coming from and why you deserve freedom as an adult.
3. SET BOUNDARIES
One of the most important things you can do when dealing with controlling parents is to set clear boundaries and let them know what you are and are not comfortable with.
You can do this by determining what aspects of your life you need more control over and communicating these boundaries to your parents.
For example, if they are constantly calling or texting you, let them know that you need some space.
You can do this by setting specific times when you are available to talk or by limiting the number of times they can contact you each day. You can also decide when and how often you respond to them.
Be firm and respectful, and be prepared to reiterate these boundaries if they are crossed.
Setting boundaries with family:
👉 How to Set Boundaries with Toxic Family Members
4. ASSERT YOUR INDEPENDENCE
Remember, you are an adult, and you deserve your independence.
In fact, you earned it.
So identify specific areas where you want more autonomy, such as career choices, personal relationships, or financial decisions.
Communicate this with your parents and be strong as you stick to your boundaries.
It may take time for your parents to adjust, but consistency will reinforce your commitment to independence.
5. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
For your sanity, some battles just aren’t worth your energy.
That’s why it’s important to decide what’s worth standing your ground over and what’s better to let go of to maintain your peace.
How to pick your battles:
➡️ Prioritize your values and morals
➡️ Rank your needs with the highest importance
➡️ Consider the impact on your relationships
By strategically choosing your battles with your parents, you can navigate conflicts in a constructive way that promotes understanding, preserves relationships, and supports your personal growth.
6. SEEK SUPPORT FROM A THERAPIST
Talking to someone outside the family can provide a different perspective and give you the emotional support needed to navigate this challenging dynamic.
Your friends can help you feel less alone and might even understand what you’re going through as well.
And if the situation becomes overwhelming, or you find it difficult to communicate effectively, consider seeking help from a therapist who can facilitate healthier communication and boundaries.
7. CONSIDER LIMITING CONTACT
If your parents are extremely controlling and you have tried everything else, you may need to consider limiting contact or creating distance between you.
This can be difficult, but it’s necessary for your mental health and wellbeing.
This ending a toxic family relationship worksheet can help you in cutting ties.
Remember, dealing with controlling parents is not easy, but it is possible.
And sometimes that means letting them go from your life.
8. PRACTICE SELF-CARE
You know that dealing with controlling parents can be emotionally taxing, so taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is crucial.
Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as participating in your favorite hobbies or spending time with supportive friends.
Stay patient with yourself and the process of change.
It may take time for them to adjust to your boundaries and independence.
Connecting with your inner child as self-care:
👉 13 Nostalgic Activities to Reconnect with Your Inner Child
Coping with controlling parents in adulthood
Dealing with controlling parents in adulthood can be a challenging and emotionally exhausting experience.
But by staying consistent, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support, you can protect your mental health and maintain your own sense of independence.
Remember, every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right approach may take time and persistence.
So focus on what you can control — your reactions and decisions — and prioritize your wellbeing as you work towards a healthier relationship with your parents.
Also, remember to get your copy of The Better Beginnings Boundary Workbook to dive deep into your boundary setting and this letting go of toxic family worksheet to help you create distance if need be.
💾 Bookmark this page for whenever you need a reminder on how to deal with controlling parents.
More boundary posts:
- How to Set Boundaries with Toxic Family Members (and Gain Back Your Sanity)
- 101 Boundary Affirmations (for Setting Your Most Important Boundaries)
- 75 Quotes About Setting Boundaries (with Family, Friends, and Partners)
- 7 Self-Care Boundaries (to Finally Start Putting Yourself First)
More inner child healing posts:
- 101 Healing Inner Child Affirmations (to Reparent Yourself)
- 70 Healing Inner Child Quotes (to Help Overcome Childhood Trauma)
- 40 Child Abuse Songs (When You Had a Bad Childhood)
- 107 Toxic Parents Quotes (When Mother and Father Are Abusive AF)
- 22 Powerful Inner Child Healing Meditations (Guided and Unguided)
- 23 Heartbreaking Movies About Childhood Trauma (That are Therapeutic)
- 17 Must-Have Healing Gifts for Your Inner Child
- 11 Ways to Heal Childhood Trauma Spiritually (and Awaken Your Inner Child)
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