Separation Anxiety Archives | Okay Now Breathe

More crystals for anxiety:

10 Powerful Healing Crystals for Anxiety Attacks

2. BALANCE LOWER CHAKRAS

Charkas are essentially a network of seven major energy centers arranged vertically along the core of your body.

(There are multiple different systems of Chakras, but I personally use the Western Seven Chakra System.)

You can learn more about chakras in this enlightening book.

While having all chakras balanced and aligned is beneficial for anxiety, I find the lower chakras to be vital.

The three lowest chakras are the root, the sacral, and the solar plexus chakras.

These chakras are considered your physical chakras, and they are responsible for your self-image and physical and emotional identity.

Signs of an Imbalanced Root Chakra:

Lack of Motivation
Feeling Disconnected
Anger and Short Temper
Impatience
Feeling Stuck
Greediness

How to Balance Root Chakra:

⭐ Listen to Meditation Music: 256 Hz

⭐ Speak Positive Affirmations: I am…

⭐ Diffuse Essential Oils: Frankincense, Patchouli, Cedarwood, Myrrh

⭐ Use Crystals: Smoky Quartz, Hematite, Red Jasper,

⭐ Wear Colors: Red

⭐ Eat Foods: Red Potatoes, Strawberries, Cherries, Tomatoes

Signs of an Imbalanced Sacral Chakra:

Depression
Low Self-Esteem and Insecurity
Fear
Jealousy
Insecurity
Detachment

How to Balance Sacral Chakra:

⭐ Listen to Meditation Music: 288 Hz

⭐ Speak Positive Affirmations: I feel…

⭐ Diffuse Essential Oils: Orange, Neroli, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang

⭐ Use Crystals: Orange Carnelian, Orange Calcite, Citrine

⭐ Wear Colors: Orange

⭐ Eat Foods: Oranges, Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Coconuts

Signs of an Imbalanced Solar Plexus Chakra:

Anxiety
Depression
Low Self-Esteem
Codependency
Lack of Self-Control
Inability to Set or Maintain Boundaries
Addiction

How to Balance Solar Plexus Chakra:

⭐ Listen to Meditation Music: 320 Hz

⭐ Speak Positive Affirmations: I do…

⭐ Diffuse Essential Oils: Juniper, Geranium, Lemon, Ginger,

⭐ Use Crystals: Yellow Jasper, Lemon Quartz, Tiger’s Eye

⭐ Wear Colors: Yellow

⭐ Eat Foods: Lemons, Corn, Yellow Squash, Pineapple, Bananas

If you struggle with social anxiety, unblocking the throat chakra is vital.

Be sure to check out my meditation YouTube channel, Peaceful Awakening Meditations!

3. DO A PUZZLE

Doing puzzles takes a lot of concentration, and you go through a lot of trial and error in the process.

But the repetitive nature is very soothing for an anxiety-filled mind.

The most rewarding way to do a puzzle is to not look at the picture on the box.

I also find that doing a puzzle this way is the best way to distract anxiety.

If you’re just starting out at the whole puzzle thing, you can get a bunch of different puzzles at the Dollar Tree.

They’re very inexpensive (only $1!), so you can’t go wrong.

4. MAKE A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET

Hand-eye coordination is a great way to take you out of your head.

This is why I love making friendship bracelets. I’ve been making them since I was probably 12 years old.

The process of repeatedly tying knots is so relaxing.

The best part is yes, you can make them and give them to your friends.

Any time you see them wearing it, you’ll recognize those same feelings you had when you were making them.

Pro-Tip: I’ve used this friendship bracelet making kit for at least a decade now.

Whenever I run out of string, I buy some Tinsky floss, because they’re inexpensive, high quality, and offer so many unique colors.

5. DO YOUR MAKEUP

I used to never wear makeup. Maybe a little mascara here and there.

But now doing my makeup is so relaxing.

I’ll spend 30 minutes doing various eyeshadow looks and pairing it with a matching lipstick.

My favorite brands are e.l.f. Cosmetics, Pacifica, and ColourPop.

They’re all cruelty-free with lots of vegan options.

If you don’t wear makeup, try doing your hair a different way or create unique outfits from your closest.

Get creative, and have fun!

6. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT

You don’t have to be Mozart in order to help distract yourself from anxiety.

Playing any instrument helps calms our nerves, because our hands and fingers play a repetition of notes.

I’ve played the keyboard for years, and I write my own songs.

I bought a ukulele a couple of years ago. They’re such happy instruments.

My boyfriend is a music producer, so I even make my own music that way.

You can find some of our music on our free meditation YouTube channel, Peaceful Awakening Meditations.

7. PICTURES OF BABY ANIMALS

There’s one thing I think we can all agree on.

Baby animals are so freaking cute.

Look at pictures. Look at videos.

See how many different ways you can spell the word awwww.

Just try your hardest to not cuddle the screen.

8. BLAST DISNEY MUSIC

Disney songs have saved my butt so many times when I’m on the verge of a panic attack.

Out of any music in the world, it helps my anxiety almost instantly.

You can find them quickly on Pandora or YouTube.

I even have all the Disney’s Greatest Hits CDs.

I’ve probably listened to them the most out of any other CD I own – besides Avril Lavigne’s Let Go.

More music recommendations:

9. SIT IN THE GRASS

Let nature soak up your stress.

Sit in the grass under a tree in the shade.

Feel how the grass blades feel on your fingertips.

Notice how the air feels on your skin.

Just be one with Mother Earth.

She is so beautiful, and she can make you feel whole again.

10. CLEAN YOUR BATHROOM

I used to be a very messy person.

But now I feel much better in a more organized and clean environment.

I find a lot of joy when I’m cleaning my bathroom.

I’ll blast some music, dance a little, and watch my anxiety dissipate.

I usually try to take at least one day out of the month and do a complete top to bottom clean of my bathroom.

Try using a more natural cleaner that is free from most toxins.

You’re less likely to get a headache from using it.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

BONUS: ACCEPT IT

As weird and as hard as it sounds, don’t push your anxiety away.

Try your best to embrace it in the moment.

Tell yourself, yes I have anxiety, but I’ve made it through it every time before this.

And I will overcome it again.

More anxiety affirmations:

Try Therapy Instead

Instead of trying to push your anxiety away, why not try therapy instead?

Did you know that there is affordable online therapy?

Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Distract Yourself from Anxiety

While it’s so important to get to the root of your anxiety, it’s vital to find ways to distract yourself from anxiety when times are tough.

Distracting yourself might be the only way to stop an oncoming panic attack.

What ways do you distract yourself from anxiety? Tell us in the comments below!

10 Activities to Distract Yourself from Anxiety

The post 10 Transformative Ways to Distract Yourself From Anxiety appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide for Someone with Anxiety

Meagan — Fri, 21 Aug 2020 16:38:09 +0000

Christmas Gifts for Anxiety Sufferers

If you enjoy giving thoughtful Christmas gifts, this guide is perfect for anxiety sufferers.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to give a thoughtful gift to someone, especially someone who lives with anxiety.

You don’t want to overstep any boundaries, and you definitely don’t want to seem rude.

That’s why I recommend these 10 presents in this Ultimate Gift Guide for Anxiety.

When you’re struggling with anxiety, it might be helpful to talk to an online therapist. I always recommend Online Therapy, because it’s a complete online counseling toolkit, and you can get incredible therapy for an affordable monthly cost.

I share all my favorite things that you can gift your loved one this holiday season.

You can even buy any of these for yourself!

1. ANXIETY JOURNAL GUIDE

Journaling is a great way to combat feelings of anxiety.

My Anxiety Journal: Daily Prompts for Coping with Anxious Thoughts and Feelings is designed to help you overcome anxiety, practice self-care, and start living a more grateful, fulfilling life.

Achieve a life free from anxiety with eye-opening journal prompts that will help your loved one (or you!):

⭐ cope with and manage your anxiety

⭐ incorporate self-care into your daily routine

⭐ learn to love yourself unconditionally and

⭐ become free from the shackles of anxiety

The Anxiety Journal includes daily journal prompts from a variety of topics, such as During Anxiety, Recovery, Gratitude, and Self-Care.

Your loved one will also get a mood tracker on each prompt.

BUY NOW

2. YOU ARE A BADASS

One of the most eye-opening self-help books I’ve ever read is You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.

I highly recommend gifting it to your loved one who needs to look past their limiting beliefs in order to feel powerful.

It’s funny, encouraging, and life-changing.

3. GODDESS PROVISIONS

I’ve been subscribed to Goddess Provisions for a year now, and I think it’s a fantastic gift for your friend or family member who’s anxious.

What’s Inside:

⭐ Crystals, Aromatherapy, Beauty, Snacks, Tools for Spiritual Growth

⭐ 5 to 7 full-size products in each box

⭐ 100% vegan and cruelty-free

⭐ Typical box value $80-$100

⭐ Free U.S. shipping!

The price for the box starts at $27.75 / month.

I’ve loved every box I’ve received!

SUBSCRIBE NOW

More subscription boxes to gift:

7 Spiritual Wellness Subscription Boxes (That are Vegan!)

4. A WEIGHTED BLANKET

If you know someone has really intense anxiety, a weighted blanket would be a great gift!

Weighted blankets help relax the nervous system by simulating the feeling of being held or hugged.

This increases serotonin and melatonin levels and decreases cortisol levels, which improves mood and promotes restful sleep at the same time.

5. A COLORING BOOK

Coloring books are all the craze when it comes to trying to remedy some symptoms of anxiety.

It’s easy to forget about your racing thoughts when you’re concentrating on coloring in the lines.

My aunt bought me this coloring book a couple years back.

It’s a fantastic present, because it encourages your loved one to forget about the problems going on in their head by focusing on trying to color in between the lines – which is no easy feat.

6. SOCIAL ANXIETY TO SOCIAL SUCCESS

If your loved one suffers from social anxiety, I recommend gifting Social Anxiety to Social Success.

It’s perfect if they’re ready to gain control over their social anxiety.

It’s super easy to follow along to, and there’s even a workbook where they can track their progress.

BUY NOW

7. SLOW IT DOWN

Slow it Down is a class about slowing down and simplifying your life.

It teaches about letting the stresses of the world go.

It’s a chance to start fresh, simplify, and declutter.

The goal is to let go of what no longer serves you, and it’s a excellent gift for anyone who needs to let go of stress.

BUY NOW

8. ESSENTIAL OILS

Gifting essential oils to your loved one with anxiety is a wonderful way to provide them with some holistic healing.

Aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years, and it provides countless benefits.

Essential Oils for Anxiety:

Lavender
Chamomile
Lemongrass
Patchouli
Bergamot

I recommend Plant Therapy essential oils, because they’re high quality, vegan, and cruelty-free!

Gift a bunch in this 7 & 7 Essential Oil Set, which features 7 single oils and 7 synergies.

BUY NOW

*While using essential oils, be sure to use them in a well-ventilated room and keep harmful ones away from pets and kids.

9. PINK HIMALAYAN SALT LAMP

A Pink Himalayan Salt Lamp helps illuminate a room with a warm, pleasant, and relaxing amber glow.

They also provide some pretty remarkable benefits, such as boosting mood, help air quality, and can help you sleep.

It’s an incredible gift for anyone who needs more calmness and tranquility in their life!

10. WORRY STONE

Worry stones are crystals that have a groove that fits the thumb.

The indents in the stone can be rubbed when you’re feeling stressed or anxious.

The repetition and gentle vibrations from the stones are an excellent way to find relaxation and anxiety relief.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Christmas Gifts for Anxiety Sufferers

A gift can show how much you pay attention to your loved one’s likes and interests.

A gift can also show your empathy for what they’re struggling with.

The items featured on this list are really helpful, useful, and thoughtful.

Gift recap:

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter | PinterestGuide: Christmas Gifts for Anxiety Sufferers

The post Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide for Someone with Anxiety appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

Why Running Gives Me More Anxiety (and Alternative Exercises)

Meagan — Thu, 13 Aug 2020 15:35:51 +0000

Why Running Makes Anxiety Worse

I’ve never liked running. Because to me, running makes my anxiety worse.

And to be completely honest, running feels a lot like an anxiety attack.

Exercise and Mental Health

Everyone and their mother tells you that exercising is good for you.

They tell you that it promotes a healthy lifestyle, and it will even help to alleviate problems associated with poor mental health.

But what happens when intense cardio is not good for your mind?

What if it actually causes you more harm than good?

Well friends, that is exactly what running does to me.

Overcoming Excercise-Induced Anxiety:

5 Things to Do When Exercise Makes Anxiety Worse

Running and Anxiety

HIGH RESTING HEART RATE

When I’m struggling with daily anxiety, I have a naturally high resting heart rate.

My heart rests at around 80 bpm, when studies say that a healthy heart rate for someone my age is around 70 bpm.

Because I have a high resting heart rate, I’ve always had a problem with intense forms of exercise.

Any type of intense exercise sends my heart and mind into overdrive.

Every beat feels like my chest is going to explode.

Mix that with severe anxiety, and any jolt of adrenaline automatically sends me into fight or flight.

Jogging is painful

Running has always made me feel the most uncomfortable out of any form of exercise.

It’s about the most intense form your body can take.

For me, running causes way more stress than it alleviates.

And it’s just not worth it to me when there are so many other types of exercise.

We’ll touch more on that later…

IT FEELS LIKE A PANIC ATTACK

To me, running feels exactly like a panic attack.

Think about it.

The body goes through the same changes as the ones seen with anxiety.

Increased heart rate? Labored breathing? Dizziness? Check, check, and check.

Running can easily make you feel so out of control of your own body.

My entire body stiffens up and throbs in an unbearable pain when I run.

My chest hurts so bad that I can hardly get a breath in.

I feel like my body is trying to hold me hostage.

The only way to feel any relief is to collapse on the ground and watch the world spin around me.

This has all the makings to a recipe of a panic attack written all over it.

Try these affirmations for anxiety:

85 Calming Affirmations for Relieving Anxiety and Panic Attacks

IT MIGHT CAUSE A PANIC ATTACK

Because our brains make unconscious connections all the time, our memories are tied to our physical symptoms.

Feeling symptoms that are similar to a panic attack may actually induce a panic attack itself.

When you’re prone to panic attacks, anything that feels remotely like a panic attack will automatically make your body respond in the same way.

Heart rate increases during exercise, as well as during anxiety.

Labored breathing increases during exercise, as with anxiety.

These feelings often go hand-in-hand.

So even the thought of running causes my body to produce stress hormones.

Just the thought of having to run increases my anxiety.

And willingly inducing an anxiety attack just doesn’t sit well with me.

Knowing that running gives me such intense feelings is enough to have me run the other way. (See what I did there?)

Working through a panic attack:

4 Ways to Safely Recover from a Panic Attack

ALTERNATIVES

To me, pushing myself to run is not an option.

There are so many other alternatives that work out the body just as much.

And frankly, running has never, ever even been fun for me. With or without the panic attacks.

Here are some exercise alternatives:

🚴‍♀️ Riding a bike

For some reason, riding a bike is incredibly relaxing for me – even though you work more muscles than when you run.

Riding a bike is wonderful exercise and requires both muscular and cardiovascular endurance.

It works out almost every muscle in your body, and it makes your heart stronger.

I love soaking up the breeze and surrounding myself with nature.

I would ride for hours if my body allowed me.

🌲 Hiking

Most areas have some type of nature or forest preserve you can spend an hour or two hiking.

This is the perfect opportunity to enjoy the world around you.

Explore different terrains and different sceneries.

Don’t be afraid of marshes, forests, or mountains.

💃 Dancing

Dancing is so much more freeing than running.

There are so many different styles you can do, and they’re all so fun to just let loose to.

Yoga Booty Ballet videos are some of my absolute favorite dances to do, because they’re quirky and they fly by.

🧘 Vinyasa yoga

Vinyasa yoga is a type of yoga that focuses on the flow between movements and breathing.

It’s an incredible way to get your heart pumping in the most calming way possible.

One of my absolute favorite places to learn more about yoga poses, flows, and sequences is Yoga Download.

There are a countless selection of free yoga classes, from beginner all the way to advanced as well as different lengths.

If you find you’re enjoying yoga and want to dive deeper into the practice, you can get a membership to Yoga Download for 50% off here, which is a total steal!

The best part is you can do yoga in the comfort of your own home.

Overcoming Anxiety From Running

If you feel defeated or overwhelmed when people say running is the best exercise you can have, it’s okay to disagree with them.

There are plenty of other options to give you that good-for-your-heart kind of exercise.

And let’s be honest…it’s okay to just literally despise running.

Do you struggle with exercise-induced anxiety? How do you manage?

Therapy, mindfulness, and coping strategies can play a crucial role in recovery.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Suicide Prevention Resources

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When Running Makes Anxiety Worse

The post Why Running Gives Me More Anxiety (and Alternative Exercises) appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

5 Symptoms of Adult Separation Anxiety (That are Super Intense)

Meagan — Tue, 28 Jul 2020 18:36:28 +0000

Symptoms of Adult Separation Anxiety

Nobody wants to admit that they struggle with adult separation anxiety.

There’s a sense of shame when it comes to codependency, and nobody wants to admit that they have dependency challenges.

Nobody wants to admit that they are so dependent on one person and without them being there, they completely shatter.

The more I’ve recovered from my adult separation anxiety, the more I realize how much it affected nearly every area of my life.

It took over my entire mind and body, and nothing was off-limits.

For five symptoms of separation anxiety in adults, keep reading.

CONTENT WARNING: This post mentions self-harm and suicide. Please talk to a therapist if you’re struggling. I always recommend Online Therapy, because it’s a complete online counseling toolkit, and you can get incredible therapy for an affordable monthly cost.

To see how I’ve recovered: My Life with Separation Anxiety and How I’m Recovering

1. EXTREME DREAD

Separation anxiety causes extreme dread the moment someone living with it finds out the person they’re emotionally attached to has to leave.

The second they hear the news, they get a knot in their stomach, dizziness through their brain, and a heart that won’t stop breaking.

I’ve cried and broken down countless times because of the separation anxiety I’ve had from my boyfriend (now fiance).

I would wake up next to him and still dread the minute he had to go to work, even if it was eight hours later.

Heck, there was a time I would know he was leaving a year from now, and I dreaded every single moment leading up to it.

The fact of the matter is separation anxiety is completely terrifying.

All-encompassing.

It’s completely debilitating, and it’s not something to be taken lightly.

2. EXTREME JEALOUSY

Obviously, you can’t be with someone every single second of every day.

Not only is it not possible, it’s not healthy.

Everyone needs time for themselves.

People with separation anxiety understand this, but it’s still impossibly hard to accept.

They easily get jealous when their attachment spends time with other people, such as friends or even family members.

They can even feel jealous when their attachment spends time doing activities without them, such as watching a movie.

Don’t get it twisted. People with adult separation anxiety are not purposely being needy.

They didn’t choose to be like this.

This workbook really helped shift my mindset around and send me down the path of recovery.

3. ANGER

As with basically every other type of anxiety, anger likes to show its ugly face.

A lot of the time, our initial reaction is anger.

Because let’s face it…

It’s really hard to control your emotions when you feel under immense stress.

Common separation thoughts:

Why would you do this to me?
Why did you choose them over me?
How come you don’t love me enough?
Why couldn’t you have just stayed with me?

Because of this, people with separation anxiety aren’t surprised when they get into an argument or two with their person.

They’re also not surprised when the person they’re attached to starts the argument.

Either way, it hurts tremendously.

Learning to communicate can save the relationship between both people.

Giving the adult with separation anxiety advance notice usually helps them cope better, versus when they’re blindsided at a moment’s notice.

Also, communicating throughout the temporary separation can do wonders for the anxiety.

4. SELF-HARM URGES

Self-harm urges are a common thing with people with separation anxiety.

(This can also be a symptom of borderline personality disorder. Please talk to a licensed mental health professional.)

Back when my separation anxiety was at its highest, I would pace my room when my fiance spent time with other people.

I would cry hysterically on the floor and shake.

I felt like he abandoned me and didn’t love me anymore.

I understand that these thoughts seem irrational.

But when you’re in the moment of intense separation anxiety, it’s beyond challenging trying to cope when the person you need the most isn’t there.

I felt like my entire world fell apart in an instant, and I would often turn to the thing that seemed to help me the most, which was harming myself.

…Which is just about one of the most unhealthy “coping mechanisms” there is.

5. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Separation anxiety in adults rarely infects lives by itself.

It’s very common that adult separation anxiety co-occurs with other mental illnesses, such as borderline personality disorder, depression, and PTSD.

This makes coping with separation anxiety that much more difficult.

For instance, depression can insidiously feed off separation anxiety.

When you’re feeling alone from your partner, your depression can make you feel utterly hopeless.

And when nothing else seems to make the pain stop, thoughts of suicide often enter the brain.

Please remember that suicide is a permanent fix for a temporary problem.

If you are suicidal, please get the help you deserve. We need you here.

Adult Separation Anxiety

Adult separation anxiety can manifest in a multitude of ways, such as dread, jealousy, anger, self-harm urges, and suicidal thoughts.

It also usually co-occurs with other mental illnesses, which can make recovery exhausting.

However, there is help.

Please talk to a therapist if you’re struggling with separation anxiety symptoms.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter | Pinterest

Living with Adult Separation Anxiety

The post 5 Symptoms of Adult Separation Anxiety (That are Super Intense) appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

5 Blaring Signs You Need to Seek Therapy

Meagan — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 17:45:49 +0000

Should I Go to Therapy?

Wanna know a secret? Going to therapy does not make you weak.

In fact, therapy makes you strong.

Seeking professional help means you care about improving yourself and your wellbeing.

Every single person can benefit from therapy.

Because therapy isn’t just for people who are mentally ill.

When you’re struggling with your mental health, it might be helpful to talk to an online therapist. I always recommend Online Therapy, because it’s a complete online counseling toolkit, and you can get incredible therapy for an affordable monthly cost.

Everyone goes through things that they have a difficult time coping with.

On top of that, people should always find new ways to grow and improve themselves.

Keep reading for 5 blaring signs you need to seek therapy.

1. CONSTANT NEGATIVENESS

Uncontrollable sadness, anger, or hopelessness may be signs of a mental health issue.

Some causes of concern:

Loss or increase in appetite
Sleeping more or less than usual
Stopped enjoying things you used to
Isolation

If you’re constantly experiencing the same negative patterns, it might be time to see a counselor.

Posts to help beat negativity:

2. SOMETHING TRAUMATIC HAPPENED

While experiencing trauma certainly isn’t the only valid reason to seek therapy, it is a very compelling reason to do so.

I first went to therapy back in 2015, because I was having a hard time coping with the sexual abuse I endured in my childhood.

When I finally came to terms with it, it began affecting my life entirely.

I had constant anxiety, and I was becoming severely depressed.

I was self-harming, and it was putting a big strain on my relationships.

It was excruciatingly painful, but I am in a much better place now.

Other reasons to seek help

The death of a loved one, a breakup, or job loss are all valid reasons to see a therapist.

Grief comes in many different varieties, and it can be a very long and painful process.

More reasons:

History of abuse or neglect
Victim of a crime
Chronic illness

If you’ve experienced a big life event, try and seek therapy to help you better cope.

3. YOU’RE ABUSING TO COPE

When you turn to a substance or behavior to help you feel better, you need to find better ways to cope.

Some harmful coping strategies are drugs, alcohol, sex, food, and self-harm.

I battled with a self-harm addiction for years, and it consumed my life.

At the time, it felt like my only way to cope.

However, when I reached a stable part in my recovery, I realized how many healthier coping mechanisms were actually out there.

Now I enjoy things like reading in nature, playing video games, and going for mountain hikes.

Mindfulness was a big savior in my recovery.

100 SELF-HARM ALTERNATIVES

Get 100 healthy self-harm alternatives delivered straight to your email for free! These are the exact alternatives I used to beat my self-harm addiction!

4. YOU CAN’T STOP THE BEHAVIOR

It’s easy to believe that you can stop the harmful behaviors on your own.

I’m betting you’ve even thought that way yourself.

But sometimes that’s simply not the case.

Factors of recovery

So many factors go into recovery, and getting an outside opinion and advice can be incredibly beneficial.

I know I thought I could manage my depression and anxiety on my own, but I actually needed a lot of support.

I needed to look outside myself and seek help.

Ask yourself how your life is going. Be completely honest with yourself.

If you feel things are starting to get unmanageable, you owe it to yourself to reach out.

5. OTHERS EXPRESS CONCERN

Oftentimes, we don’t realize how big our problems actually are.

We don’t realize how much our experiences, choices, and hardships affect the people we care about.

Sometimes, family and friends can notice patterns that are hard to see from the inside.

Once my fiance told me how much he could see I was struggling and how much he wanted me to seek therapy, I eventually decided to go.

But I resisted therapy for a long time, and I made excuse after excuse.

Common excuses for not going to therapy:

It costs too much.
I’m too scared.
I don’t have the time.
What if it doesn’t even help me and is a waste of time?

Sometimes you might have to put your pride aside and realize that therapy is awesome, beneficial, and life-changing!

Did you know that there is affordable online therapy?

Did you know that Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox?

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Other helpful therapy tips:

It’s so important to note that finding a therapist is a lot like dating.

You might not click with the first therapist you meet.

Or the second. Or even the third.

If you’ve had a negative experience with therapy before, try again!

When you find a therapist you connect with, it makes the experience that much more enjoyable and beneficial.

This Good Therapy article offers helpful answers to any of your therapy concerns.

My Therapy Companion

When you’ve decided to attend therapy, you’re going to want to get the most benefits out of your experience.

That’s why I recommend having something like My Therapy Companion, which is a workbook designed to make your therapy more beneficial.

Are you ready to seek professional help?

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Should I Go and Attend Therapy?

The post 5 Blaring Signs You Need to Seek Therapy appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

13 Super Reliable Ways to Cope with Severe Loneliness

Meagan — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 19:07:53 +0000

I’m a huge introvert, but I still struggle with chronic feelings of loneliness. And sometimes it’s really painful trying to cope.

When I’m having a bad mental health day, I tend to feel really alone.

And that’s when the bad thoughts come out to play.

They overtake me, and I have the hardest time being able to cope. I feel no hope and likes there’s no way of ever making me feel whole again.

But throughout my struggles of everyday, chronic loneliness, I learned what coping mechanisms help me feel less alone for the time being.

If you’re struggling with feelings of being alone, try these 13 reliable ways to cope with severe loneliness.

But first, have you downloaded your free Self-Love eBook? ↓

13 Ways to Cope with Severe Loneliness

1. ATTEND THERAPY

Therapy can be a crucial part in your ability to cope with loneliness.

Talking to someone who is experienced with what you’re struggling with can make all the difference.

Did you know there’s online therapy?

Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

- Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
- 8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
- Activity plan, journal, and tests
- Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

2. PLAY VIDEO GAMES

For some reason, there is still a huge misconception that video games are bad for you.

They make you violent. You’re irresponsible and lazy if you play them.

For me, that is the complete opposite.

Playing video games makes me forget my problems associated with my mental health.

They calm my anxiety. They distract me from my depression.

Video games distract me from the real world, and controlling another character even helps to take away some of my loneliness.

The best part is that there are so many different types of video games (RPG, strategy, fighting, racing, etc), so you can find which ones you connect with the best.

My Favorite Video Games:

The genres that fight my loneliness the most are ones filled with storylines and adventure. I love characters I can connect with and storylines I can vibe with.

Take a peek at my list of Best PlayStation Games for Your Mental Health. I talk about my favorite games, such as Kingdom Hearts and Uncharted, that I swear help my well-being so much.

I also have a whole post dedicated to the 4 Ways The Sims Helps My Mental Health Tremendously.

Why Video Games are Good for Our Mental Health

3. READ YOUNG ADULT FICTION

Oh, young adult fiction. Usually so cheesy, but so, so good.

My favorites tend to be YA Contemporary, like Sarah Dessen’s books.

When you read a book, you immerse yourself in the story. You kind of forget about everything else that’s going on for a few moments.

There’s hardly any better feeling than having a book in my hand while I’m laying in the grass, soaking up the sun.

Harry Potter is always a go-to of mine. I even wrote a post on 6 Reasons Why Harry Potter is Good for Your Mental Health.

If you don’t own any books, go check one out from the library. Hoopla and Libby by Overdrive are services through your library that you can rent eBooks, audiobooks, and more for free.

You could even read a magazine or two right off the internet, if that’s more your fancy.

4. WATCH YOUTUBE VIDEOS

Watching my favorite YouTubers every morning helps fight my loneliness.

A lot of the time I don’t even really watch them. I kind of just put the videos on so I can listen to their voices in the background.

You can find videos on pretty much all of your interests.

Love to cook? Watch recipe videos. Love makeup? Watch beauty gurus talk about their favorite products. Love reality TV? Watch vlogs of everyday people.

I honestly would be so much worse off without my YouTube videos. I watch them every single morning to help center myself for the day.

Waking up with terrible anxiety is something I struggle with almost daily, and they help calm me enough to where I can function.

Some of my favorite YouTubers are ThatGirlShaeXo, Jessica Braun, TylerTravelsTV, KathleenLights, and Beauty & The Beastons.

I especially love their vlogs, because it makes me feel like I’m just hanging out with a friend.

7 People Who Talk About Mental Health on YouTube
10 Mind Blowing Free YouTube Tarot Reading Channels
20 Vegan YouTubers You Should Be Watching

5. READ SELF-LOVE AFFIRMATIONS

I love me some positive self-talk.

Self-love affirmations are so important to say when you’re feeling lonely, because they help you become your own best friend.

They might seem cheesy and maybe even a bit delusional at first, but filling your head with self-love is what your brain needs to hear.

Be sure to check out my meditation YouTube channel, Peaceful Awakening Meditations!

The more you practice self-love, the more natural it seems. The more natural it seems, the more you’ll start to believe how worth it you are!

At the end of the day, the only person you’ve got is yourself.

So take care of yourself, love yourself, and accept who you are at this present moment.

6. DECLUTTER YOUR SPACE

In the past couple of years, I’ve learned just how soothing decluttering can be.

Too much junk clutters the space, leaving chaos, and even anxiety.

Sometimes all we need for self-care is to have less shit crowding around us.

When you declutter, you distract yourself from everything else going on and focus on the task at hand.

When you do this, your feelings of loneliness should start to melt away.

If you have no idea where to start, here are 80 Things to Get Rid of Right Now to Start Your Minimalism Journey.

You can also watch declutter videos on YouTube to give you ideas.

You can donate your used items (and get a tax deduction) or you can even make some extra cash by selling your items!

Get some self-care and put a little extra money in your wallet. It’s a win-win!

7. POP IN A MOVIE

I’m a big movie lover, and you can almost always find me watching one sometime throughout the day.

When you watch a movie, your attention is focused on the characters, the script, and the scenery.

When a movie has your attention, your attention isn’t on how lonely you feel.

I really recommend any coming-of-age movies like Now and Then and Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain.

You can find more recommendations on my Top 12 Feel-Good Movies to Fight Depression.

If you have Netflix or Hulu, there are so many movies from all different genres. If you don’t have Netflix or Hulu, run to your library (or use Hoopla or Libby) and grab a handful from there.

I’ve discovered some of my favorite movies from the library.

I’ve recently learned about Tubi, where there’s a plethora of free movies and TV shows.

8. SOAK IN A BUBBLE BATH

Baths became my best friend.

When I had access to a bathtub in my old house, I would take one almost every night as a form of daily therapy.

I’m amazed by how much better I feel when I added baths to my self-care arsenal.

Taking a bath naturally helps our anxiety. The hot water helps calm our minds and relax our bodies.

Baths have even been said to help fight things like mild insomnia.

3 Mental Health Benefits of Taking a Bath

9. DO WORKOUT VIDEOS

Working out gets your mind off a lot of things. It takes you out of your head and puts you in the present.

Plus, working out alongside videos makes you feel like you’re part of the workout class. They’re more interactive than you think.

All of these instructors make you feel like you’re right there in the studio with them.

I absolutely love the Yoga Booty Ballet series, because they mix dancing with yoga.

One of my absolute favorite places to learn more about yoga poses, flows, and sequences is Yoga Download.

There are a countless selection of free yoga classes, from beginner all the way to advanced (as well as different lengths).

If you find you’re enjoying yoga and want to dive deeper into the practice, you can get a membership to Yoga Download for 50% off here, which is a total steal!

The best part is you can do yoga in the comfort of your own home.

Check more YouTube videos with 10 Best At-Home Workout Videos for Beginners.

10. HANGOUT WITH YOUR PETS

Animals have a way of sensing our emotions.

They know when we’re not feeling our best, and they’re likely to come and snuggle up next to us in our worst moments.

If you’re feeling extra lonely, you can always cuddle up with them as you watch your favorite movie. I recommend any of these.

But if you have the energy, play fetch or take them on a walk. Try to get out of the house a little bit and soak up some nature.

Mother Earth has an amazing way of making me feel more steady and grounded.

Why Our Pets Help Fight Our Depression

11. DO PHOTOGRAPHY

You definitely don’t have to be a professional photographer to fight loneliness.

Whether you have a DSLR camera or just your cell phone, you can take pictures.

Go around your house and take a picture of anything that sparks your interest. Walk around your neighborhood and capture the trees, animals, and flowers.

Practice self-love and take selfies.

Taking helps you focus on the details of the Earth instead of details in your head.

It takes you out of your head and places you into the present moment.

12. HOST A COOKING SHOW

When you’re in the kitchen, pretend you have your own cooking show.

Explain the meal. Give details on the ingredients. Be enthusiastic.

For some reason, I’ve always done this. Almost every time I cook, I pretend I have my own cooking show.

Talking out loud to a pretend audience helps me feel like I’m less alone.

And you don’t have to be a chef to cook a meal either. Follow along with recipes you find on Pinterest or in ones of these vegan cookbooks.

There are countless meals, and I know you’ll find one that looks appetizing.

13. SIT IN NATURE

I feel so amazing when I’m in nature. There’s hardly any other way I feel more at peace with myself.

I love breathing in the fresh air and soaking up all the sounds of the earth.

You can walk through your neighborhood, ride your bike around town, or hike at your local forest preserve.

You can even just lie in the grass and watch the clouds go by.

I love, love, love doing yoga outside.

It’s putting two of my favorite things together and embracing some of my most peaceful moments.

It’s a very mindful experience, and I highly recommend it.

Cope with Loneliness

Chronic loneliness can be tough to cope with.

What ways do you fight loneliness?

Give us some ideas in the comment section below!

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The post 13 Super Reliable Ways to Cope with Severe Loneliness appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

8 Delicious Teas for Anxiety and Depression

Meagan — Sat, 29 Feb 2020 17:27:40 +0000

Different teas have so many emotional benefits for anxiety and depression.

And I used to stay away from the benefits of tea as a kid, because I used to think drinking tea was weird.

I used to think that it had crummy flavor, and I always thought that tea was just for old people like my grandma. Like, who even was I?

I might as well be my grandma with the amount of tea I drink.

Types of Tea:

There are so many varieties of tea that it’s easy to find at least one that tickles your fancy.

Hot, cold, sweet, plain, green, black, red, white. You name it.

Besides plain water, tea is pretty much all I drink.

Don’t like it hot? Try it cold with a slice of lemon. Don’t like it plain? Add a couple of teaspoons of agave.

Not only can tea be super yummy, but it has a countless number of health benefits.

And what’s even more rad is that different types of teas affect different parts of the body.

Benefits of Tea:

Boosts your immune system
Protects your body from cancer
Contains antioxidants
Can provide energy
Can help relax you

And if you have anxiety or depression like me, I would highly recommend picking up the teapot and pouring hot water to ease your symptoms.

8 Delicious Teas for Anxiety and Depression

*Be sure to talk to your doctor before drinking any of these teas!

ANXIETY

1. CHAMOMILE

If I had a tough day with anxiety, chamomile is my go-to tea.

It calms my nerves, relaxes my thoughts, and even helps me sleep.

It also tastes amazingly delicious with a little lemon or agave.

2. PEPPERMINT

Peppermint tea is another one of my absolute favorites.

Not only does it make your tastebuds have a party, but peppermint is excellent at helping upset stomachs.

If you’re like me and struggle with an angry tummy when you have bad anxiety, then peppermint tea is a sure staple to add to your pantry.

3. LAVENDER

Lavender has extremely strong calming properties.

Drinking a cup before bed can help your mood stabilize and help you fall asleep quicker.

It also relaxes your tummy when you’re tense and stressed.

4. PASSIONFLOWER

Passionflower tea is one of the strongest on this list. It has even been compared to the prescription drug Xanax.

Like several of the teas I’ve mentioned, passionflower is fantastic at calming your nervous system and helping you get to sleep better.

5. KAVA

Kava tea has been compared to the drug Buspar.

It’s so effective that it shouldn’t be used with alcohol and some prescription medications.

Kava has a very sweet-spicy taste. If you like cinnamon, you’ll like this tea!

DEPRESSION

6. GREEN TEA

Buddhist monks have been drinking green tea for thousands of years to help them meditate.

I love how energizing green tea is, because with depression, we can use as much energy as we can get!

I think green tea is extra delicious with a fresh slice of lemon.

7. GINSENG

Ginseng tea can help relieve symptoms of stress, energy, and fatigue associated with depression.

If you drink it more regularly, you’ll see even more benefits.

I definitely recommend adding maple syrup or sugar to it, since it is more of an earthy tea.

8. ST JOHN’S WORT

St John’s Wort tea is used to promote emotional balance.

It has been known to be incredibly soothing and can even help boost your mood.

This tea has a mild herbal taste, with a hint of sour.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

Teas for Anxiety and Depression

Try drinking a cup every morning and night for a week and see how your body responds.

You can drink the same tea each time, or you can mix it up for the most health benefits.

You can also either drink it cold or hot!

What are you waiting for? Get pouring!

Did you know there’s online therapy?

Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

- Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
- 8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
- Activity plan, journal, and tests
- Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

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The post 8 Delicious Teas for Anxiety and Depression appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

14 Must-Read Mental Health and Personal Development Blogs for 2020

Meagan — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 23:09:46 +0000

Mental health and personal development blogs are my favorite kinds of blogs to read.

The writers of these blogs give me hope and make me feel less alone.

The best part is they’re relatable, honest, and incredibly helpful.

Even if you don’t have a mental illness, you can benefit from reading a mental health blog.

Everyone has mental health, and everyone can benefit from growing as a person.

Keep reading for 14 must-read personal development and mental health blogs.

14 Personal Development and Mental Health Blogs

1. ANXIOUS LASS

Anxious Lass talks a lot about living with anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression. You’ll also find posts on chronic illness as well.

Favorite post:

15 Things I Use to Manage My Mental Health

If you suffer from social anxiety, don’t forget to check out her eBook, Social Anxiety to Social Success.

It’s fantastic if you’re ready to gain control over your social anxiety.

I love that it’s super easy to follow along to, and there’s even a workbook so you can track your progress!

BUY SOCIAL ANXIETY EBOOK

2. RESILIENT

I’ve been following Resilient for years. Actually, it was probably the first mental health blog I ever stumbled on.

I love that it focuses on all aspects of mental health, from mental illnesses to self-care.

Favorite post:

26 Things to Do When You’re Having a Bad Day

Plus, if you’re short on time, Resilient is an excellent blog to read since all the posts are relatively short.

You can also find several eBooks and online classes, such as Negativity Detox and Figure Out Your Life. They’re incredible resources to help jump start your healing.

CHECK OUT STORE

3. THE INSPIRATION LADY

Another of my favorite blogs is The Inspiration Lady.

You’ll find an assortment of posts on self-improvement, wellness, and lifestyle, and I’ve applied to so much of the advice to my own life.

Favorite post:

5 Things You Didn’t Realize Were Putting You in a Bad Mood

If you’re looking to learn self-love, she has a Love Yourself book, as well as a Love Yourself Workbook.

BUY ON AMAZON

4. ROSE-MINDED

Rose-Minded is dedicated to providing mental health awareness, support, and education.

Favorite post:

5 Self-Care Myths

On the blog, you can three 52 week Mental Health Journal Guides.

You can pick from anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder.

In the guides, you can find weekly gratitude, emotional intelligence, self-care prompts.

With my code meagan15 you’ll get 15% off your purchase.

CHECK OUT SHOP

5. SHINE SHEETS

On Shine Sheets, you’ll find a plethora of mental health and personal growth blog posts.

I love the entire aesthetic of this blog – super colorful, yet calming!

Favorite post:

10 Deeply Relaxing Items That Make Living with Anxiety Easier

You’ll also find several countless products on anxiety, depression, self-care, productivity, and so much more!

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.

6. THE HOW TO SOCIAL WORKER

At The How to Social Worker, you’ll uncover topics such as anxiety, addiction, mindset, and growth.

Favorite post:

13 Expert Ways To Overcome Anxiety At Work Today

With counseling in mind, you’ll also find My Therapy Companion, a workbook designed to be successful in therapy.

BUY MY THERAPY COMPANION

Did you know there’s online therapy?

Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

- Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
- 8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
- Activity plan, journal, and tests
- Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

7. ABOUT SOCIAL ANXIETY

With a main focus on – you guessed it – social anxiety, About Social Anxiety is a fantastic resource for overcoming the fear of social situations.

Favorite post:

How to Practice Relaxation for Anxiety

In the shop, you’ll find a couple of crucial workbooks created to defeat social anxiety.

8. BLESSING MANIFESTING

Blessing Manifesting is a real powerhouse in all things self-love and personal development.

I love how stunning and inspiring the graphics are.

Favorite post:

Distress Tolerance: Self-Soothing

She also sells a bunch of products like the Daily Self-Care Worksheets and Anxiety Workbook. You can buy all the products either in digital or physical form.

9. RADICAL TRANSFORMATION PROJECT

Radical Transformation Project focuses on anxiety, depression, and living a radically fulfilling life.

It’s a frontrunner blog in the mental health community.

Favorite post:

Take Care of You: A Guide to Guilt Free Self-Care

You can also take the Mental Health Masterclass, where you can narrow down what coping skills will make a difference in your life and create a plan to implement them.

BUY THE COURSE

10. LIVING SIMPLY

Living Simply is an awesome self-improvement blog.

The blog covers a variety of topics, including anxiety, depression, and wellness.

Favorite post:

5 Ways Helping Others Boosts Your Mental Health and Wellbeing

Every blog post is well thought out and well written, and it’s definitely worth checking out.

CHECK BLOG OUT

11. SUCCEED NOW

For all things personal development, check out Succeed Now.

The writer’s goal is to provide support, advice, and coaching to improve your mindset and your life.

Favorite post:

How to Build Confidence

If you’re just getting started with self-care, I recommend taking this 5 Day Self-Care Challenge. You’ll learn what it takes to put yourself first.

BUY MANIFESTATION WORKBOOK

12. SOBER BADASSERY/UNJUNKIEFIED

If you’re struggling with addiction and recovery, Sober Badassery is the blog for you.

Favorite post:

How Relapse Dreams in Recovery Is Actually Your Mind Coping

This blog is filled with such eyeopening advice.

I know in the thick of my self-harm addiction, Sober Badassery would’ve been a huge help.

CHECK OUT BLOG

13. HOPEFUL LOTUS

With a focus on personal growth and spirituality, Hopeful Lotus is a blog you turn to when you need inspiration.

Spirituality and the law of attraction is something I hold near to my heart, so it’s fantastic seeing a fellow blogger talk about them.

Favorite post:

How to do a Powerful Candle Gazing Meditation in 6 Steps

On top of that, Hopeful Lotus has a compelling Breakthrough Manifestation eWorkbook.

14. SOLUTIONS TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

If you are a fellow introvert, then you need to check out Solutions to All Your Problems.

You’ll also discover posts on anxiety and depression.

Favorite post:

7 Signs You Have HSP Anxiety

Solutions to All Your Problems also has a Conquer Your Anxiety eBook that’s designed for introverts and highly sensitive people with anxiety.

BUY CONQUER YOUR ANXIETY

Mental Health Blogs

There you have it: My favorite mental health and personal development blogs!

Not only are they incredibly valuable, but they are also immensely relatable.

What are your favorite blogs to read? Let me know below!

The post 14 Must-Read Mental Health and Personal Development Blogs for 2020 appeared first on Okay Now Breathe.

My Life with Separation Anxiety From My Boyfriend & How I’m Recovering

Meagan — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 19:44:20 +0000

I am 26 years old, and I struggled with extreme separation anxiety from my boyfriend for years.

The phrase “my other half” gets thrown around just as often as “I love you.”

But what if your partner literally is your other half? What if your partner is the only person who can make you feel whole again?

My Struggle with Separation Anxiety From My Boyfriend (& How I’m Recovering)

CONTENT WARNING: This post mentions self-harm, suicide, and sexual abuse.

THE BACKSTORY – MY UPBRINGING

I didn’t have the easiest childhood.

From neglect to emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, I endured a lot of experiences with abandonment.

A lot of negative emotions and memories I pushed aside for years and years, until I entered a relationship with my boyfriend back in 2013.

When you have a lot of repressed feelings of abandonment, when the first person you actually become deeply invested with enters your life, emotions can run rampant.

Through It All:

Together, we discovered the hidden demons of my childhood sexual abuse.

Together, we had to push through my terrible anxiety, panic attacks, and my OCD.

My boyfriend was there throughout my parents’ disgusting divorce.

He was there when my mom chose money over me.

He saw how much I struggled with my dad’s alcohol addiction on a daily basis.

We fought past my severe depression, self-harm addiction, and suicidal thoughts and ideations.

And these don’t even count what he’s gone through in his own life, in his own head. His battles. His ADHD.

Because my boyfriend was there through it all, a part of my inner child grabbed hold of him tight. Desperately.

It’s like my entire world became revolved around if he was safe. If he was okay.

If he was abandoning me, too.

STRUGGLING WITH SEPARATION ANXIETY

I NEVER thought is a kajillion years that I would be somebody who became so dependant on someone else for my stability.

Nobody wants to admit that they have dependency issues.

Nobody wants to admit that they are so dependent on one person that without them being there, they completely shatter.

When He Was Busy:

When I was not with him, I was a mess.

I couldn’t concentrate on my work, or even on the movie I was trying to distract myself with.

The time I spent with other people was tampered by thoughts of his safety and whereabouts.

It was like I couldn’t focus on anything but him.

If he was at work or school, I could breathe a little easier because I knew he was more likely to be okay.

But as soon as he was supposed to get off and I didn’t hear from him for a while, my anxiety overtook me.

I shook and shook and shook. I would cry. I would hurt myself.

Despite my separation anxiety, I tried to encourage him to keep relationships with his friends and family in good standing.

However, when he hung out with his friends, or even his family, without me, it took everything in my power to not break down from fear.

When we were out in public and he was away from me for more than a couple minutes, I thought he must’ve stranded me.

Even if he went into a different room for too long, I thought something terrible must’ve happened to him.

“What if he’s purposely ignoring me, because he’s sick and tired of dealing with me? What if he left me for someone else? What if he’s in the hospital right now? He must’ve died.”

My Symptoms:

Separation anxiety is one of the most terrifying anxieties I can describe.

It’s an all-encompassing panic attack. I go numb. I go dizzy.

Horrible, horrible feelings run throughout my entire body.

And my terrible, irrational thoughts pound at my brain over and over.

I feel more worthless and more depressed.

It makes the self-harm urges even stronger. It makes me want to end my life even more.

It took over my entire life, and I was spiraling out of control.

For more of my symptoms:

5 Unknown Symptoms of Adult Separation Anxiety

How I “Coped”:

When I was in the thick of my separation anxiety, I use the term “Coping with My Separation Anxiety” very, very loosely.

Truth is, all the coping I did was anything but healthy. My “coping” mechanisms were incredibly unhealthy.

Sometimes I instantly wanted to hurt myself, because I couldn’t cope with my thoughts.

Sometimes, I would drink cough syrup or take a handful of over-the-counter painkillers to numb myself down.

I was honestly so scared of what I would do to myself. But then again, I didn’t care.

My anxiety and my depression turned into what could’ve been a fatal mix.

THE IMPACT ON OUR RELATIONSHIP

After years of our relationship (and individual lives) being impacted by separation anxiety, our relationship began to turn unhealthy.

There’s no sugarcoating it. There’s no other way to describe our relationship.

It began to turn toxic.

We began to have so many disagreements and misunderstandings and arguments. Nearly every single day.

He began to resent me. I began to resent him for resenting me.

He began to say that I liked to control him. He said that feels he needs permission to do things. He said, “I can’t do anything without you freaking out!”

I could hear him sigh; I could see him roll his eyes.

He would even say “here we go again” whenever I began to tell him what was racing through my head.

There were too many times I thought about leaving him before he inevitably left me.

I thought, “He’s going to leave me one day. I can just feel it.”

CHOOSING RECOVERY

My separation anxiety began to take an extreme toll on our lives.

It got to the point when I couldn’t even enjoy the time we spent together, because all I could think about was when he was going to have to leave me again.

I would count down the minutes until we had to say goodbye, and I could never fully live in the moments we had together.

Plus, I knew his hobbies and passions were going to have to take him away from me from time to time, and that scared the absolute crap out of me.

And I hated myself that he had to sacrifice his enjoyment with other things, because he constantly worried if I was okay. He could never fully enjoy the moment.

Life is meant to be lived fully. To explore every opportunity as it comes.

And thinking I could potentially ruin my boyfriend’s life is what hurts me most of all.

I would never be able to live with myself if I was the reason he held back on life.

I knew I needed to do something.

Recovering:

To anyone who doesn’t understand separation anxiety, I know all of this sounds completely ridiculous, irrational, and over-dramatic.

But why would I ever choose to be this clingy, needy, or so dependent on someone I can barely function?

Who in their right mind would ever choose to live like this every single day of their life?

I wished I wasn’t like this. I wished for everything in my power that I was different.

But separation anxiety from my boyfriend was extremely difficult to overcome.

Because the only cure I had was him. He was my remedy.

WHAT HELPED MY RECOVERY

Years and years and years went into my recovery.

I can’t emphasize this enough.

Years of Tears. Pain. Denial. Grief. Acceptance went into my recovery.

And no, I’m not fully recovered from my adult separation anxiety.

Sometimes the panic is so urgent, so intense that I fall back into self-hatred.

But, recovery is a daily decision. Recovery is taking it day by day, minute by minute, breath by breath.

Here are some of the things that helped me:

1. THERAPY:

Therapy can be a crucial part of managing and uncovering the reasons for your separation anxiety

Maybe, like me, your separation anxiety stems from your childhood or feelings of abandonment.

Exposing yourself to unresolved trauma is beyond beneficial for your recovery.

Did you know that there is affordable online therapy?

Online Therapy is a complete online therapy toolbox.

Your therapy toolbox includes:

Live video, voice, or text chat session with your therapist
8 easy-to-follow sections, including 25 worksheets
Activity plan, journal, and tests
Yoga and meditation videos

What I love about Online Therapy is that there are several life-changing options and therapists available, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home.

This means you never need to worry before getting help.

Get 20% off your first month with my exclusive link.